Elizabethan Mafia

I have a great idea for a fundraiser event.  In fact I like it so much I’m even considering submitting this as a bid for one of our local events.

*Warning: A sense of humor is required to read below this point.  Violators will probably be horrified*

Here’s the plan:

We start off setting up a fundraiser separate from the event for whatever cause you want: support the local group, random A&S newsletter #1, generic travel fund x, etc.  Really, it’s whatever you want but the point is to set it up as its own separate thing for people to donate to.  Event fees, etc should not go into the fund raiser and should be kept separate according to local, Kingdom, and Society SOP.

Now that the fundraiser is set up, we can start planning our event.  The point is that you can “level up” your event experience by donating to the fundraiser.

Let’s call the event Generic Event XX.  Say you hate the name Generic Event XX and don’t understand why we can’t call it Ymir like we do every year.  You want the event to be called Ymir?  That will require a donation to the fundraiser.  The name of the event is Generic Event XX until the fundraiser has reached $200.  At that point we can call it Ymir.  But if the fundraiser only raises $150…well I’m afraid you and all your friends will be spending your weekend at Generic Event XX.

Generic Event XX will only have C&T and Thrown Weapons.  Want to have Heavy Fighting?  I’m afraid the fundraiser will need to make $500 before we can have Heavy Fighting.  Traditional thrust based rapier?  We’ll need to raise $600.  Archery?  We’ll need to raise $700 before we can allow that.  Oh, and the tournament is going to be a single elimination dice tourney unless the fundraiser makes at least $800.

So you say you don’t care about fighting?  Let them suffer?  You will be perfectly happy to come to the event as is and display your hand forged widgets that you have been working on for 3 years, you say?  Well, I’m afraid there won’t be any A&S activities at all unless we raise $500.  And if you want our A&S coordinator to arrange for judges we’ll need to raise $700.  $800 if you want judges that have ever seen A&S before.

Feast is going to run in much the same way.  Generic Event XX is going to have Mac and Cheese for feast.  Want something else?  We’ll need to have raised at least $800 before we can have anything other than Mac and Cheese.  You say you need 2 proteins and at least 3 veggie’s?  Well, I hope the fund raiser makes at least $900.  Feast just isn’t feast if it isn’t documentable and has at least 4 removes?  We’ll tell your friends to donate to our fundraiser because we’re going to need to have raised at least $1100 before we can get a cook that understands research and documentation.  $1200 if you want feast cooked by anyone who has ever cooked a feast before.

Now, children’s activities will be set up a little differently because I understand parents can’t just leave their kids at home (please note children’s activities will be mandatory for children age 3-5 and strongly suggested for children age 5-10).  That’s why there will be a kiddie corral at the gate for you to leave your kids.  There will be a $20 fee per child for children’s activities and for that they will get to run around the corral all day, eat sandwiches, and color.  There is no fee to pick your children up but please note that all children brought to children’s activities will be given a triple shot of espresso and a Border Collie puppy.  If you don’t want your child to receive a triple shot of espresso and a Border Collie puppy you will need to make a $100 donation to our fundraiser.  If you think your puppy would have a better life with someone else’s family we will gladly give the puppy to the family of your choice for a $50 donation.  However, your child will still receive the triple shot of espresso.  If you think this is the absolute worse idea you have ever heard of for children’s activities then the fundraiser will need to make at least $1500.  Once it has made at least $1500 a fully qualified Minister of Youth will be brought in to organize children’s activities and a clown will be hired for the day.  Hate clowns?  Well, if the fundraiser raises at least $2000 dollars we’ll send the clown to some other group’s event.

I think this is a fabulous idea.  It really gives people the opportunity to have more input into an event and really affect their event experience while helping to raise money for whatever excellent cause the hosting group picks.  And it can be fully tailored to whatever fundraising need the hosting group has.

Generic Event XX!  It could be coming soon to a local group near you!